Umm.. I have been up nights thinking about the situation I am in right now. My teacher has been asking me out..on a date. It’s about a month ago when he asked me out in a very candid manner and I turned his invitation down as graceful as I could. Then he stopped by in my lab last Sunday to ask me out again.

Our relationship is strictly student-teacher when we are having lessons. But somehow I am becoming conscious of myself. This was the same reason why I gave up my teacher about three years ago and I can’t believe that it is happening again.

I don’t profession-discriminate when it comes to dating. He could be a good catch but how I wish that he would be just my teacher. And now I am thinking of finding another teacher. But the thing is my learning curve has been really excellent with this guy.

I absolutelly agree with you Micron.

Tessa needs to give back to him the choice of continue or not being her teacher.
You (Tessa) need to be clear at this moment, for just the reason Micron said, and then it will be the choice of your teacher to continue or not with the lessons in an absolutely professional way.
Your teacher is free to choose you to invite. But you are equally free to say no. All the rest is a consequence of a decision now.

Zevang

0.0 i'm very sorry...

I think I could disagree, slightly. But if Tessa is so clear about keeping the relationship strictly as student-teacher and I must suppose she may have good reasons for that, then I could say nothing more.

But if she doubts (after all, she is posting here also for some reason), then I do not see the inconvenience.

But this is just my humble personal opinion (with all the letters, this time).

I have made myself very clear to him the last time he asked me out and I hope that it sinks in. Everything was normal during our last lesson and I hope it stays that way.

I am still slightly self-conscious 'though, specially when he asked me about personal things like my work or my hobbies. Maybe it is his way of breaking the ice.

I like this teacher a lot (as a teacher) as he devotes extra time to meet my schedules and does not mind extending lessons if needed. He is also to my opinion very systematic in his teaching methods. And finally he doesn't mind an occassional duet with a beginner like me. However, I am now asking around about teachers just in case the situation does not get better.

Sorry guys that this is a little off-flute topic. I'm just not so good at this thing. Thanks for your suggestions.

My feeling is that first of all you need to ask yourself whether you want to go out on a date with him at all (irrespective of whether he's your flute teacher). If not, then that settles that. If you do want to go out on a date with him well, he's not your boss or your psychiatrist, (I'm assuming you're not 14 and he's 47 or something), so I don't see that much of an ethical conflict.

Leporello, attention from the opposite sex is quite flattering but it becomes annoying when it puts you into dilemma.

This teacher is very devoted and I have gained confidence in my playing under his supervision. I was so inspired that I even quit my sideline job so I can spend more time practicing.

I also asked two of his former students before he became my teacher and it looked like there was no implications that he behaved like this before.

I dress and conduct myself in a fairly decent manner. He has also behaved like a gentleman so far. And yes our age gap is not so far but the guy is just not my type. I detest people who would put a grain of salt into the trust of others towards them, no matter how innocent and how consenting the situation might be.