Hello, i'm a 16 years old Canadian.I'm from Quebec. I've been playing piano for 10 years. This song is my first composition. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my own song and please give me your comments! I hope you'll like what you hear. If you like what I do you can put my youtube's links on your wall facebook :p
If you like what you hear help me and talk about me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4TqCJIV5gE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaCcsxV4O1E&feature=mh_lolz&list=LLxcjlwPdkNXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxm-LDVtzsY
Thank you


Bonjour, Je suis un canadien de 16 ans. Je suis de Québec. Je joue du piano depuis 10 ans. Cette chanson est une composition. Je vous dit merci de prendre le temps d'écouter cette composition J'espère que vous aimerez. Si vous aimez ce que je fais, cela m'aiderais beaucoup si vous pouviez parler de moi à vos parents et amis, car il est très dificile de faire se faire entendre et de se faire voir su la toile :p


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4TqCJIV5gE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaCcsxV4O1E&feature=mh_lolz&list=LLxcjlwPdkNXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxm-LDVtzsY

Laissez moi vos commentaires
Merci

Very good for a "first" composition. Here's what I think you need to focus upon:

1) variation in texture. The arps are fine, but you need a section where you break from that somehow, or alter them in a noticeable way.

2) your phrases have interesting irregular lengths, which I enjoy, but they need a little more delineation, because they are irregular.

3) in your next composition I think you should experiment with more harmonic colour - break away from the 1 4 5 and 6 chords a little. It's hard to have "your own sound" if you only stick to those chords.

But these are just pointers - you're doing well, and playing your own music, as a sort of performance, is highly commendable.

Adding to what Thomas Green already put:

(1) You might want to have some melodic variation too. You seem to have octaves in the right hand for the whole piece. Using subtly dissonant chords like major sevenths and minor sevenths in the melody could make the piece more interesting.

(2) You should probably experiment with other types of non-chord tones besides passing and neighboring tones. This will allow the piece to sound more free-flowing.

(3) Don't be afraid to use jumps!

For a first composition, this is very good!

<Added>

By that, I mean you can go between notes without a note in between.

Thanks fors your comments