Bassoon jokes

Time for a light hearted thread, i think, that's not about reeds or makes of bassoon...
Put all your jokes n stuff here! I have quite a few so i'll start us off:

Q. What are bassoons good for?
A. Kindling an accordion fire.

Q. Which is better, a bassoon or an oboe?
A. A Bassoon - it makes more toothpicks.

"It [the bassoon] is a bass instrument without proper bass strength, oddly weak in sound, bleating blurlesque"
Thomas Mann - novelist/critic.

"The bassoon in the orchestra plays the same role as Gorgonzola among cheeses - a figure or fun. Actually, the basoon can be the most romantic and passionate of instruments, and Gorgonzola can be the finest of cheeses, but they must both be treated properly."
Cecil Gray - music critic/composer

Q. How many bassoonists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but they'll insist on going through about five bulbs before they find one that suits the particular room and situation.

Now you go!

How do you get two oboes in tune?
Shoot one.
How do you get two bassoons in tune?
Is this a question?

What do bassoonists want to do to Mahler?
Shove a cardboard tube in his ass so he can play low A.

Q. Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
A. A bassoon burns longer

No the joke is
Q: How do you get two oboes in tune?
A: Shoot BOTH

Q: What do you call a bassoonist with just one reed ?

A: A hopeless optimist.

ya'll r great. had a hard day and needed a pick me up. i personally think that bassoons r totally over looked. we just arent given enough respect.

hear hear

Q. What do you call a bassoonist that can play 3 notes?

A. Gifted.



Q. How do you make a bassoon in tune?

A. Change all the notes to sharps.

that last one is so true

Q: How are bassoons related to lawsuites?

A: Everyone cheers when the case is closed.

Q: What is better bassoon or oboe?

A: Bassoon, you can use it as a toilet plunger.

Q: What does a bass clarinet and a clarinet have to do with a bassoon?

A: The bass clarinet is heavy and the clarinet is flat! Same as the bassoon.

Q. What is the best beginner bassoon book?

A. None.

Q. Why do people chose bassoon?

A. So the complexity of the instrument confuses the people.