About 'You'll Never Get to Heaven (Scouting Trad.)' | |
Artist: |
Trad. (biography) |
The Artist: | Traditional Music of unknown author. |
| Composition Date: | |
| Composition Info: | LYRICS:
1. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven on a boy scout’s knee 'Cause a boy scout’s knee’s too knobbly. Refrain: I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord no more. 2. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in an old Ford car 'Cause an old Ford car won't get that far [Refrain] 3. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a ping pong ball 'Cause a ping pong ball is much too small [Refrain] 4. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a limousine 'Cause the Lord ain't got no gasoline [Refrain] 5. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a Sabre Jet 'Cause the Lord ain't got no runways yet [Refrain] 6. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a Girl Scout's arms 'Cause the Lord don't fall for those feminine charms [Refrain] 7. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a rocking chair 'Cause the Lord don't want no lazybones there [Refrain] 8. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a wicker chair 'Cause the Lord don't want no baskets there [Refrain] 9. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a biscuit tin 'Cause a biscuit tin's got biscuits in [Refrain] 10. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in an apple tree 'Cause an apple tree's got roots you see [Refrain] 11. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven on roller skates You'd roll right by them Pearly Gates [Refrain] 12. You'll never get to heaven in your girlfriend's bra 'Cause your girlfriend's bra can't stretch that far [Refrain] 13. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven on a Honda bike 'Cause you'll get halfway, then you'll have to hike [Refrain] 14. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in our row boat 'Cause our row boat won't even float. [Refrain] 15. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in dirty jeans 'Cause heaven's got no washing machines. [Refrain] 16. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a Kleenex box 'Cause God don't like no dirty snots. [Refrain] 17. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven on a pair of skis You'll shuss right through St. Peter's knees. [Refrain] 18. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in our Leader's pants 'Cause his pants are full of ants [Refrain] 19. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven on water skis 'Cause the angels don't like hairy knees [Refrain] 20. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven with powder and paint 'Cause it makes you look like what you ain't [Refrain] 21. Oh, you’ll never get to Heaven in a strapless gown 'Cause that gown thing might fall right down [Refrain] 22. Oh I want to go to heaven, and I want to do it right So I'll go up to heaven all dressed in white [Refrain] 23. Oh one fine day, and it won't be long You'll look for me, and I'll be gone [Refrain] 24. And if you get to heaven before I do Just drill a hole and pull me through [Refrain] 25. But if I get to heaven before you do I'll drill a hole and spit on you [Refrain] 26. Well if I get to heaven, before you do I'll plug that hole, with shavings and glue [Refrain] 27. That's all there is, there is no more St. Peter said, as he shut the door [Refrain] 28. Oh there's one more thing I forgot to tell If you don't go to heaven, you'll go to...bed [Refrain] 29. And that's the end, St. Peter said As he closed the gates, And went to bed. [Refrain] |
| Score Key | F major (Sounding Pitch) |
| Tempo Marking | Humorously, two in a bar h=c.80 |
| Time Signature | 4/4 |
| Duration | 1:13 |
| Number of Pages | 2 |
| Difficulty Level | Easy Level: Recommended for Beginners with some playing experience |
