I'm writing a song for voice/guitar in a folk-rock style with elements of jazz. I'm not having too much trouble with the melody, but I'd like some feedback on my lyrics.


I was sitting with my old guitar and a worn-out book of chords
Searching through my love soaked brain for the rhymes and the metaphors
To tell you how I love you, and how you stole my soul
That I’ll never, ever leave you, and I’ll never let you go

But it seems they’ve all been sung before, like the genie from the lamp
Or a beautiful princess, falling for some roaming tramp
But it’s all that I can give you to show you how I feel
Anyone can give you roses, but I know that this is real

It’s like a river in the desert
The yellow sun or the sweet moonshine
I know these words aren’t worth a thing
But all the same, tell me you’ll be mine

You tie my tongue up in knots just like a boy scout with a string
So let my music swear my love to you as I bare my heart and sing
I’m wrapped around your finger, and you don’t even realize
Look into my face and you know I’ll tell no lies

‘Cause you’re my river in the desert
The yellow sun and the sweet moonshine
I know these words aren’t worth a thing
But all the same, tell me you’ll be mine

My turn is almost over and my heart’s never been so bare,
The next move is up to you, but won’t you treat my love with care
You’re not a helpless damsel, or a tower-bound princess
You’ve got my soul in your hand; I’m the one who’s in distress

‘Cause you’re my river in the desert
The yellow sun and the sweet moonshine
I know these words aren’t worth a thing
But all the same, tell me you’ll be mine

Yes you’re the mountain, touch my sky
The bright red rose, and the lake so blue
I know this song’s not much to give
But even so, tell me you’ll be true